


Found A Life Worth Living For

by iamsnowwhite



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, POV Alternating, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 07:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4994785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamsnowwhite/pseuds/iamsnowwhite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke's been gone for months and Bellamy doesn't believe his eyes when he actually sees her. He'd always thought that saying was bullshit, how could you not believe something you're seeing? But now he gets it. It feels like his eyes are tricking him when he first catches a glimpse of her blonde hair. Then it really feels like a trick when he sees how... Big she is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Found A Life Worth Living For

It's hard. It's so hard. It's the hardest thing Clarke thinks she's ever dealt with.

When she first realizes it, it feels like her whole world crumbles around her. Whatever puzzle pieces she thought she had put in place, fall away. Everything was wrong anyways... But just when she thought the world was done fucking her over, this happens.

She thought the nausea was from thinking about what she's done. It always was like that. She'd feel sick when she thought about the mountain, or about Finn. To her it wasn't weird. Who wouldn't feel sick when they thought about how they stabbed their ex boyfriend and let him bleed out, or how they were the reason hundreds upon hundreds of bodies were rotting away deep underground... It usually felt like her stomach was closing in on itself, but now it was almost constant. But then she noticed herself _gaining_ weight rather than losing it, which was weird since it was hard for her to find food sometimes... And the tenderness in her breasts was definitely new...

Then it clicked and everything felt even darker than it had before.

She's going to have a baby.

Of course she thought it was Finn's. She'd never been with anyone else on the ground- _Shit!_

How could she have forgotten? She wasn't _that_ drunk...

Not only did this innocent, perfectly pure baby have the worst mother possible, this baby also has two possible father's. That night with Bellamy was nothing. Clearly it hadn't meant much if she nearly forgot about it. She hates that it happened like that, she cares about Bellamy now. More than she feels she can ever tell him. Back then, she had hated him. In such a short span of time he'd gone from a pain in her ass, to one of the most important people in her life. And now she's fucked it up even more.

She thinks she's about four months along when she notices, give or take a few weeks. Time doesn't mean much on the ground so she's stopped keeping it.

Thankfully, her nausea fades as the days go by and she's fortunate enough to find something to eat everyday.

She doesn't head towards the camp, she can't. This is her burden. She doesn't know if she could face Bellamy. Not like this. What would she say to him? How would she explain it all? She left knowing that if she ever went back, the look on his face would break her all over again. But now? Now that she could be carrying his child on top of the fact that she walked away, how could he ever forgive her?

Somewhere during the sixth month, she decides it's a girl. She just has a feeling.

It gets harder to get around during the seventh month, so she sticks to the same flat area rather than moving around like she had been. There are lots of deer here that are easy for her to catch and kill. Those last her a few days and she keeps herself busy by making blankets from the furs.

During the eighth month, she decides to head home. She knows the needs of her baby come before her own, and she also knows she can't do this alone. No matter how terrible she feels, or how much the people back in camp will hate her, her baby needs them.

The walk is tiring so she stops a lot, taking breaks often. She's only a fifteen minutes walk away when the pain starts. It's sharp and persistent. _Really,_ she thinks, _I couldn't even make it over the hill?_

When it finally passes, she keeps going. She makes it to the top of the hill, she can see the Ark and the camp at the bottom, and the tiny little people too, when it comes back. Worse this time.

She screams and sinks to the ground, clutching her belly. Hoping someone will come help her.

*********

Bellamy's day starts like it always does. Waking with the sun, taking his position as guard for a few hours before eating some breakfast with Miller. Then, he goes to training where he helps helpless people learn to shoot. Then back to the fence for more guard duty. He took the job willingly, relishing in the time he gets to spend alone.

Today, he hears it before he sees it. The screaming. It sounds like Clarke, she sounds hurt. But he knows that can't be. She's gone. Has been for five months and he doesn't know if she's coming back.

Then he hears it again, louder this time and more desperate.

He shouts to the guards inside camp and they start running towards the source of the screaming.

He doesn't believe his eyes when he actually sees her. He'd always thought that saying was bullshit, how could you not believe something you're seeing? But now he gets it. It feels like his eyes are tricking him when he first catches a glimpse of her blonde hair. Then it _really_ feels like a trick when he sees how... _Big_ she is.

Her scream brings him out of the daze he was in and he kneels beside her to get on her level.

She looks at him and he can tell her expression is from more than the pain she's feeling physically.

"Something's wrong," she grounds out, tears forming in her beautiful, beautiful eyes.

He thought he'd be mad but he's not. She's here and that's what matters.

"It's okay, we're going to get you some help, Princess." He turns to one of the guards that followed him and yells, "Get her mom! Get Abby!"

He turns back to Clarke and places his hand on her cheek, wiping her tears with his thumb.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Bellamy," she says before screaming again.

"Hey, hey you're good. You're okay," he tells her, grabbing her hand in his own and using his other hand to rub her back.

Abby comes running up to them and he hears a soft 'whoa' before she's on the other side of Clarke with her doctor face on.

"Something's wrong, mom," she sobs.

"It's okay, Clarke. You're going to be okay. Can you lay down for me? Bellamy put her head in your lap."

They shift Clarke so she's laying on the grass and Bellamy cards his fingers through her hair.

Abby's fingers press into Clarke's _huge_ stomach (he doesn't remember his mom being that big) and she winces every so often.

"Alright Clarke, the first baby is facing the wrong way. I'm going to have to reach in and turn it around, okay?"

"Wait, _first one?_ " Clarke asks.

"Yes Clarke, there are two. You're having twins. This is going to hurt quite a bit, are you ready?"

She gives a shaky nod before a scream so loud Bellamy is scared. Her scream continues until she's out of breath, then she's screaming again once she's taken a breath.

"You did great, Clarke. I'm all done. I need you to push now. Can you do that for me?"

She doesn't answer, instead she looks up at Bellamy.

"They- they might be yours, Bel..." she says shakily. "You- you have to know that I-"

"It's okay, Clarke. I know, I know. Push alright? Do as your mom says," he tells her.

She nods and Abby keeps instructing her through the labor.

The first baby is a girl with a head covered in black hair. She screams as loud as her momma and Clarke gets to hold her for a few minutes before she has to push again. The second baby is a boy who's as bald as a queue ball. His cries are quiet and small, just like him. Their tan skin is what gives them away. That and the freckles the boy already displays.  

After Clarke delivers the placenta, Abby places both babies wrapped in blankets in her arms. Abby then quickly stands and goes to tell Miller what's happened. He also ran up because of the noise.

The girl yawns while the boy grabs onto the finger that Bellamy had been using to rub his cheek.

Bellamy can definitely say this isn't how he saw his day going. When he woke up, he certainly didn't expect Clarke to come back. Let alone have her come back just in time to deliver his children. _Shit..._ He's a dad... His mind had been racing when he first saw Clarke. Yeah, he remembers that night... Not too well, but he knows it happened. And when Clarke was telling him how the babies could be his, her words registered but he was so focused on helping her through the labor to really process them.

But now, he has children. He is responsible for bringing two adorable little babies into the world. He helped bring such beauty and innocence into a messed up and terrible world. He did that.

*********

Clarke knows she made the right choice by bringing these babies into the world. As she stares down at their sleepy faces, her heart swells with a feeling she thought she'd grown numb to. She loves these kids more than anything, and she has no idea what to do with all of it. Maybe the universe got something right.

She feels the need to do everything right by them. To never fail them as she has everyone else. Maybe this is her second chance. These two incredibly small human beings will be her chance to change her ways. Maybe even her chance to get things right with Bellamy as well.

The girl looks just like him. Her nose is strikingly similar to his, and her eyes are already dark. The boy has grey eyes, but Clarke knows that is likely to change. His skin is lighter than his sister's, making his freckles stand out in contrast.

"I think I know what I want to name them," she says quietly. "You do have some say of course, you are their dad."

Bellamy can't help the smile that appears on his face, "What do you have in mind?"

"I like Jacob Collin, for the boy. And Addison Aurora for the girl, if that's okay."

She turns her head to look at Bellamy and sees the tears in his eyes. She's had months to come to terms with this, he's had a few hours... Maybe she should go a little easy on him.

"That sounds perfect," he says with a sweet smile Clarke has only seen him use with Octavia.

Suddenly her heart hurts as she watches him and she must say it, "I am sorry, Bellamy."

"It's alright," he says sincerely. "I forgive you. But none of it matters anymore. They matter now."

She watches him for a moment longer before adding, "I love you, Bel."

He rests his forehead against hers, "I love you too, Clarke."

Abby says they need to get the babies back to camp and lifts Addison from Clarke's arms, wrapping her in a second blanket. Miller takes Jacob and Clarke can't help but smile at the affectionate way her friend looks at her son.

Clarke then notices her lack of pants and is thankful for the fur her mother got out of her pack to cover her during the birth. She grabs her pants and slides them on her legs before Bellamy locks his arm under her knees and lifts her into the air.

He must notice her questioning look because he gives her a smile, "I remember my mom couldn't walk for two days after she had O."

As they walk towards camp, Clarke can't take her eyes off her babies. She switches her gaze from her mother smiling down at Addison, to Miller talking quietly to Jacob. She doesn't look away from them when they walk into the camp as she thought she would. She expected everyone to gawk at her and her giant belly, judging her and making assumptions. Now though, she doesn't give a crap. Who knows if they're looking at her, she's not paying attention. All her energy is focused on her two squirming babies walking alongside her.

They get to the med tent and Bellamy sets Clarke down on a cot and she can see what he was talking about when he told her how much pain his mom was in.

After a few minutes, Abby brings the babies into the room in what looks like a double stroller. She tells them that the babies are just perfect and totally healthy even though they are quite small for newborns.

Bellamy has just lifted Jacob into his arms when they hear some yelling outside.

"-I don't care! I heard she's back, let me in!"

The voice is unmistakable, Raven is trying to get in to see Clarke but someone won’t let her.

Moments later, she's bursting into the large tent and staring wide eyed at the scene before her. Bellamy is sitting on the edge of Clarke's cot with Jacob cradled in his arms. Addison is drifting off to sleep in the stroller beside them. And Clarke is fighting to stay awake herself.

Clarke nearly laughs when she notices Raven's mouth hanging open and she can tell Bellamy is doing the same.

"What..." Raven says, frozen in place.

"Say hi to Auntie Rae, Jake," Bellamy says, grabbing his son's hand and making him wave.

"What?" This time Clarke does laugh but she immediately feels bad. Raven has the right to be shocked. She has the right to yell and scream and accuse Clarke of terrible things because that's what she's done.

"Are you going to come say hi, or just stand there like an idiot?" Bellamy says, huffing out a laugh.

"They're...?" Clarke's never seen Raven at a loss for words.

"They're ours," Bellamy answers.

Raven looks down at Addison before flicking her gaze back up at Clarke, asking permission. Clarke nods with a smile and Raven gently lifts Addison into her arms.

"Oh my god... They're so stinking cute!" she whispers, rocking back and forth.

All is silent except for Jacob's tiny grunting and gurgling. Clarke feels uneasy... She wanted this to go so differently. She wanted a chance to talk to everyone, plastering apologies like bandages for all the damage she's caused. Most of all she wanted Bellamy's forgiveness and it seems she has that for now. She also wants Raven's. She wants Monty's and Miller's and Jasper's and Octavia's. Now it seems like she won't get the chance to talk to them all. She has two people who need her. With time, maybe they'll all come around. Or they'll see how freaking cute her kids are and realize they've no reason to be mad anymore...

"I'm glad you're back," Raven says quietly, pulling Clarke from her thoughts.

Soon Octavia joins them in the tent, brows furrowed in anger and cautiousness. But much like Raven, awe and shock replace all other emotion quite quickly. Bellamy smiles at her and she breathes a laugh as she walks over to them all.

"O, this is Jake and that's Addison," Bellamy says, passing Jacob to his aunt.

It looks like a question is forming on her lips, and it stays there for a moment before she smiles. "First siblings on the ground."

Once Bellamy sees how tired Clarke is, he forces everyone from the tent with requests to keep their mouths shut (which they all know won't happen, this camp feeds on gossip) and lays the babies down so they can sleep too.

"I'm thinking of building a cabin," he says as he lays down beside Clarke.

"Yeah?"

"If you wouldn't mind," he sounds self conscious and Clarke doesn't like it. "I'd build two rooms... One for the babies, and one for us?"

"I'd like that." There is a pause before Clarke finds the courage to say what needs to be said. "I would have come back sooner... But I was so scared the baby- the babies would be Finn's. I didn't know how to deal with any of it. I don't deserve them, or you. You all deserve better than me. Everything around me just falls apart and I don't want to do that to any of you. I don't know how to be a mom..."

"No one does," he says confidently. "There is no parenting handbook, Princess. It's trial and error, we'll make mistakes and that's okay. And happiness is not a finite thing in this universe. It's handed to you to see how you deal with it. You've been through a lot of shit, you do deserve this. They're a clean slate, they don't know your past and they still love you. So do I. I never stopped and I don't even know when I started. We can do this. We're not alone. You're not alone."

Clarke let's her head rest on his shoulder, "You'll be a good dad."

"And you'll be a good mom. Now sleep. You just gave birth. Twice!"

She giggles and let's her eyes drift closed. She falls asleep with a smile on her face.

*********

Bellamy hears Clarke's breath even out and knows she's finally asleep. He couldn't wipe the smile from his face if he tried.

He looks over to see Addison and Jacob holding each other while they sleep and he's pretty sure you could kill a gorilla with this level of cuteness.

It really is weird to him. Every morning he would wake up hating Clarke. But loving her at the same time. He hated her for leaving him in charge and barely even looking back. He hated her for every day she was gone. He'd grumble to himself about how if she ever came back, he'd finally tell her off and let her know how he feels. If she came back he was sure he'd be mad for a long time.

But the moment he saw her, that all went away. It was like it never happened and that surprises him to no end. It was like his natural protectiveness took over and washed all the anger away with a pressurized hose. He's still hurt, but he doesn't blame her.

She sleeps for a couple of hours before Addison starts crying, which means Jacob has to cry as well.

Bellamy picks up his son and rubs small circles on his back while Clarke feeds Addison. Then they switch and he must say, they mastered the art of baby passing in a remarkably short time.

Later that day, (after Raven came back into the med tent singing her own praises for making two slings) they move Clarke and the babies into Bellamy's tent. Miller and his dad already made two tiny cribs for the little ones and Octavia's started making them some tiny clothing to go along with it.

Bellamy brings Clarke some food and she manages to eat most of what he brought before falling asleep.

He finds that it's very easy to fall asleep tonight as he's curled up with Clarke.

Man... What a day he's had...

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you want me to write anything else in this universe, I already have some ideas for Bellarke and their twins :)


End file.
